There is something very beautiful about the plain blue plastic bag. Handed out in newsagents, minimarts and family planning clinics, it is a symbol of comforting Sunday night shop runs and a subconscious protest against trendy cotton carriers that say things like ‘My other bag is achingly ethnic too’.
A blue bag’s contents nearly always have a story. There’s probably an Independent on Sunday in there, because by the time you got dressed that was all that remained in the shop. There’ll likely be a Frijj milkshake or other designated hangover tonic, and very often a samosa, purchased spontaneously at the counter. A Peperami sits nicely in a blue bag, too, as does some chewing gum you’ll later mislay. Yes, the blue bag is a fine thing, and its stories many. Just feel that lovely, slightly grainy texture and inhale that charred rubbery scent.
Despite its beauty and usefulness, the bluey is well, well down the pecking order in the hierarchy of bags. Indeed, only the lesser-spotted red and white stripe has a worse public profile. As well as sounding like the punchline to a Bernard Manning wife joke, bags for life, with their thickset bodies and high morals, lord it over ol’ bluey. Paper bags ooze the glamour of 80s American films and scare old ladies the most when blown up and stamped on. Small Boots bags appear useless but are, in fact, the perfect size for lining bathroom bins (you can have that, Take a Break Readers’ Tips). So raise a glass of Valencia wine or six Carlsbergs for a fiver to bluey, the underdog of bags.
A very moving post. Can’t wait to read the next installment, particularly if it’s on the subject of primary coloured bags.
Thanks LBG. It depends if bags remain in the national conversation, to be honest; this blog’s agenda is very much driven by cultural and political events.
Do family planning clinics hand the blue bags out as a condom substitute? Worrying, if so.
Another great thing about the blue bag is that it’s designed specifically so that the contents can be seen by third parties. Best carried with a revealing dress.
I too like the x-ray specs feel that witnessing other blue bagi offers. It’s the kind of legal Peeping Tommery that everyone should indulge in now and again. See also: looking down at the driver’s head from the top deck of the bus.